What kind of recipes can be found in a cook book? A Vermont Cook Book by Vermont Cooks, published by the Green Mountain Studios, Inc. included this one from “away back,” and has been handed down from Mother to Daughter. It is still appropriate.

'To Preserve a Husband' by Lemira Heath

A good many husbands are spoiled by mismanagement. Some women go about it as if their husbands were balloons and blow them up. Others keep them in hot water. Others let them freeze by indifference and carelessness. Some keep them in a stew by irritating ways and words. Others roast them. Some keep them in a pickle all their lives.

It cannot be supposed that any husband will be tender and good if managed in this way, but they are really delicious if properly treated.

In selecting your husband, do no go to market for him as the best are always brought to your door.

It is far better to have none unless you will patiently learn how to govern him. See that the linen in which you wrap him is properly washed and mended, with the required number of buttons and strings tightly sewed on.

Tie him in the kettle by a strong silk cord called comfort, as the one called duty is apt to be weak. They are apt to fall out of the kettle and be burned and crusty on the edges, since, like crabs and lobsters you have to cook them while alive. If he sputters and fusses do not be anxious---some husbands do this until they are called done. Add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call kisses, but no vinegar or pepper on any account. A little spice improves them, but it must be used with judgment. Do not stick any sharp instrument into him to see if he is becoming tender. Stir him gently, watching the while lest he adhere to the kettle, and so become useless. You cannot fail to know when he is done.

If this treatment is closely followed you will find him all that is desirable, but do not be careless with him and keep him in too cool a place.

This timeless recipe yields a priceless product.

Happy birthday, Tom!
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