Mr. Whitehouse,

I liked your column concerning Cabela’s - Michigan’s #1 destination. I’m with you, when we have so many other, more interesting features such as the ones you listed. (By the way, you forgot Ossineke’s Dinosaur Gardens – an acre of manmade life size dinos!)

But, Mr. Whitehouse, no matter what you or I think, Cabela’s is what it is, largely due to people like my husband. I invite you, sometime this summer, to go with my family to that shopping oasis that makes men and women of the hunting and outdoors variety salivate. Sort of ironic, isn’t it? That the outdoorsmen can spend a beautiful fall day INSIDE!

Your first stop will be the credit desk. Where, just for signing up for a card, you will get, depending on the day, a choice between a hat, duffle bag, or 10% off coupon for all purchases made that same day.

Next, you’ll meander to the fish tanks with live Michigan fish. Apparently the only time the outdoorsy people like to see dead ones are when they are in the frying pan. I myself prefer my fish processed, bunned, tartared, and sold on a plate with a side of fries. These fish are huge and eyelevel. There is a cave dedicated to them. Sometimes they hide, but you’ll see some pretty impressive ones, I guarantee it.

You’ll next want to see, for the millionth time, the mountain in the middle with stuffed animals (not of the toy department kind) each in their own pseudo-environment. The polar bears on the snow side, the brown bears on the, well, brown side. It is huge. If there aren’t enough animals there, you can visit either side of the store. I believe Asian animals are mounted on one side with African on the other. Most taken by Mr. and Mrs. Cabela, who started it all.

We now will have been there over an hour, cart still empty and junior bee-lining to the toy department. Though I suspect, now that he’s 13, his toys will be more on par with his dad’s.

After ambling through the camouflage, which pretty much all looks the same to me, my husband will find an outfit he likes, except he doesn’t call it an outfit, he calls them hunting clothes, but they match, so to me it’s an outfit, he will find a matching one for our son. They have fascinating names – the camouflage, not my husband and son - like “Look You Can’t See Me Even Though You Only See in Black and White Anyway and During Rifle Season I’ll Be Covered in Blaze Orange, Red and Now Yellow 3D”. And that pattern can never ever be matched with “You Can’t See Me But I Hope The Other Hunters Can 3D”. The whole matching process reminds me of that kids’ clothing brand back in the 70s – Garaminals. You know, giraffe shorts with a giraffe shirt, but never a lion shirt.

Lunchtime! I must say, if you want to try what some people call exotic food, you can eat it there. My son likes the buffalo burger. My husband the ostrich sandwich, hold the feathers. I have chicken. Interestingly enough, I don’t recall fish on the menu. I think the fish in the tank and little river that runs throughout the store are probably bubbling a sigh of relief.

Then more shopping. We’ll leave with the aforementioned ‘hunting clothes’, a candle, a hat or duffle bag, a souvenir flat penny, the doggy bags (which are actually boxes and we will forget to take them in the hotel and have to throw them away), and tired feet.

We will probably stay at H.I. Express hotel, which now boasts a neighboring indoor water park! All in small town Dundee.

Bring your camera and an appetite. And don’t forget your swimming trunks!

                                      by Ann Belote Weir

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