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I
suppose I like Internet samizadt as much as anyone else -- you
know, those things that get e-mailed around from person to person until
the original author is forgotten and the story takes on a life of its
own. Some of them really hit the nail on the head.
Here's
one I chanced across the other day. It especially struck home since I
only have a daughter.
Things you learn when you have sons:
1. A
king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4
inches deep.
2. If
you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller
blades, they can ignite.
3. A
3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If
you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough
to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape.
It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on
all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You
should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a
ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before
you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The
glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a
ceiling fan.
7. When
you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's already too late.
8.
Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A
six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.
Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old
Boy.
11.
Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.
Super glue is forever.
13. No
matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk
on water.
14.
Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.
VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show
they do.
16.
Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.
Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You
probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.
Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like
ovens.
20. The
fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The
spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22. It
will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.
Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24. 80%
of Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends, with or
without kids.
25. 80%
of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.
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